When I saw you

I remember that moment – no, not the one where I first met you, not the moment when we first spoke or the countless times I had seen you since- but, I remember that moment when I first saw you.

It makes no sense, I know – lets face it, I am not always the best at articulating myself- but I remember that moment.

It’s that moment, that moment when you sort of see your whole life before your eyes with this one person. The moment when you in an instant see the next 50 years. I had it with you.

We had been speaking for weeks – though we hadn’t seen each other in five years. Dad had dropped me off (he hated me catching the bus) and I walked to your front door. I wasn’t one to ever care how I looked but I must have changed my outfit at least 70 times that day – Suddenly I felt very light headed, there was so much pressure on me answering that door – such a build up of anticipation, I think I nearly walked back up the street about 8 times – Why the hell was the driveway so long?!

After some very heavy breathing (man your neighbour must have thought I was a creep), I made it to the front door. Eventually I must have knocked, I don’t remember doing it, but someone came to the door, so I must have. Your mum opened the door and out of nowhere all six children popped out in random locations, but just in eye-site, I was scanning the crowd – where the hell were you?! I have never felt so many eyes on me at one time, scanning me, testing me, waiting for me to move- I opened my mouth to say something eloquent… I think a hello may have come out, but I don’t recall making any sound. Your mum said hello and waved me in. Nothing was new, I knew your family, well at least the older siblings and I wasn’t worried about the younger ones, I snuck chocolates in my handbag, just in case things went pear shaped and I needed to bribe them- oh, who am I kidding – that was if I got nervous – so I could sneak into the bathroom and eat chocolate till I calmed down (so I haven’t changed much). After what must have been 30 seconds (but felt like at least 10 minutes), you popped your head over the balcony, shouted hello and said you would be down in a minute – and there you were, so calm, you had this great presence about you. My breath just caught – jeez you had grown, you were so tall – when the hell did that happen? Then it hit me, I suddenly saw you, saw all the potential you had, the fire in your eyes, your passion for facts and conversing, the excitement you had about accomplishments, big or small.

It was in that moment, that I saw, everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed – and it was all with you.